Two more days until the semester starts. As always, its a heavy feeling but at the same time, I feel like..gosh its about time I start stressing out about studying again. Being at home for 2 months does not do you any good. The only thing worth celebrating about is the that I finally passed my driving's test and I have gone to "Modern Age Man" on typing maniac.

Woo!

I'm not exactly looking forward to the next semester, but I can't wait for what's in store. I hope that it will be a little less controversial and messy as last semester. Plus, no more getting caught. Seriously, enough is enough.

I'm expecting a lot of emotional moments though. I have a strong feeling that I'll get hurt a lot worse next semester. It comes with the territory doesn't it? The more you care for someone the more capable they are of screwing the fuck out of you.

I also expect, they'll be a balance to that. To neutralize things, you know? Ying and Yang. If I'm going to get depressed, I sure as hell have to get my share of awesome moments too.

For some reason, I also feel like I'm going to start having a little less grip on one person and a strong one for the other. I might start losing a friend slowly, but hopefully a new one takes his place...soon. I feel like I'm going to be left alone to fend for myself.

One thing friendship has taught me is that, it is as hard as any other relationship..maybe even harder. When do you draw the line? When do you start expecting and when do you stop doing so?

I hope to god you won't go, but if you do, don't say goodbye. It sounds too final.

I also hope to learn more. Not just study wise (I hope for that too) but about people in general. Not only learn, but to put it to use. Skills I need to develop for the better good later on. That sounded too much like batman.

I FUCKING NEED TO GET MY HUMOUR BACK TOO!!!!

It used to be so simple. I want that. That simplicity. I want to start making fun of things again. Talk about random shit that people hate. WESTLIFE~~!!

Gahh!! Fingers crossed for that.

I failed my driving's test. Sad shit that one. Although it was expected but still, I FAILED it. Any kind of failure is hard to swallow.

I've never had this much hatred towards a damn hill. Ever.

But that's nothing compared to what might be happening at this end of this year. I have the chance to go to Turkey for the World University Debate Championship. No no, not as a contestant (gahh I wish I was that good) but just as an observer.

No, not sponsored either. My parents will have to fork out a couple of thousands for that. I don't know how it happened. One day I was just listening to my friends talking about it, the next thing I know, I'm going too!!

I'm not getting my hopes up though. Anything could happen in the space of five months plus.

In the world of Sheila, things seems to be going okay.

No complains....yet.

But please do keep in touch, because I'm sure there'll be some later on.

I can't help it.

I love you.

I was busy missing my friend today. Thought of calling him, but I know he'd be busy. So I did my Stats homework while listening to Aaron Carter.

Kid you not.

The day went by quite slowly. Feels nice to be home. Had my mother's cooking, which I've been missing since...forever.

Then, around 9.00pm lazed around and watched the All England semifinal. Suddenly got a call from him, asking me where I was.

At home la!

Then, he said he was going to stop by and send me some food. Yep, that was his exact words. I love how this particular friend likes to refer to me as some homeless deprived person.

He stopped by, since he was on his was to some birthday party at William's. He met my dad for the first time. It was awkward of course, but everything went by smoothly.

We then planned to go out tomorrow. For the first time, I actually look forward to this. Because in the end, doesn't matter how fucked up the guy can be at times, he is such a huge part of my life right now and as a friend, I care for him a lot.

Too bad, I didn't really enjoy his trifle. I didn't even know what a trifle was. Geesh. But I'm thankful that he took the trouble to drive all the way to my house just to give me some dessert.

Indeed it was a sweet suprise.

I feel like I'm sinning.

I like everything about her. Her style, her voice, her personality her laugh even is so, enviable. Guys don't see her as anything special but how I wish I was just like her. Not, grow up to be like her but to maybe, die and come back as her?

Ah well, just a phase. Atleast thats what I keep telling myself anyway.

So, its Thursday right now and I'm all up and down for KO. Yep, dying. Have to go for weekly training in about 45 minutes.

Fuck, I'm sleepy.

The second semester has been a royal pain in the ass so far. I haven't found my learning groove just yet. I hope it's not lost or something. Everything feels cramped and not in order as compared to last semester where we sometimes had the whole morning to sleep and randomly jet off to Melaka for Starbucks and a movie.

Crazy times.

Anyway, been finding out lots of crazy unexpected facts about people. Here I am, refraining myself from typing the things these kids do and there they are doing crazy shit. I feel a teeny bit left out but at the same time I'm not really interested in whatever it is they find amusing. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bit too old for Uni, seeing as the kids here act like 4 year old at times. Then, there's the whole " Live once, try everything" motto everyone seem to have.

Whatever happened to MY motto "Live once, don't be a stupid fuck."

Oh and another thing, I realised that I've started my swearing phase again. It's not nice, I've counted the number of times I've written fuck in this post and it's a fuckload I tell you. Despite being born a swearing machine again, I'm actually quite humble these days. I'm helping a lot of people, emotionally, and it feels..like a burden at times but quite rewarding.

A rewarding burden.

I'm just wondering, did god really give guys a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time? Frankly, I think that's a fact. No no, nothing personal..just, it's hard to have a best friend who can be a bloody jerk sometimes.

An advice to all girls, not straight is the way to go ;)

If you're a one track mind person and is quick to judge, no, I am not gay.

It's 10.00am right now, quite early to be online but it's my only retreat right now.

Ever heard of the saying of "how if you really want something, the whole universe conspires for you to get it." I really didn't want to go for my brass band training thing. It has been a while since I really really didn't want something.

I got what I want, and received something bad, really bad in return.

Yesterday night, received a phone call from my auntie, saying that my uncle Omar is in critical condition. I just visited him that morning, and he was resting and everything was okay. That evening, my parents decided that maybe going back during times like these would not be such a good idea. The doctor wanted family members to be with him at all times.

He could be gone, anytime.

I felt really bad for my cousin, Sal. She's the closest person I have. Her dad is my dad. Just the thought of letting her go through this alone did not feel right at all. Therefore I decided to stay back, and be with her.

This morning, I woke up early to pass on the bus tickets to my friend, tellling her I would not be able to make it to training. In the car, my mom phoned my brother and told him to get ready because we will be going to the hospital. Stopped at a stall, and my dad went in to buy breakfast. Suddenly, he came out looking like someone I do not recognize.

He looked scared.

He got to the car and told us that Uncle Mohan, has just passed away. Uncle Mohan has been a family friend since before I was born. So close to us, that he is basically the extra uncle I know. I grew up with his two sons. The thought of him gone, made me speechless.

I was on the phone with him just yesterday evening, and he sounded fine. He was even making fun of me for having to report for training.

One gone, one more to go?

Please god, let the families be strong. Don't break them down and don't let them lose hope. May Uncle Mohan rest in peace.