Fuck it.

Why is everyone losing so much weight??!! Is there some sort of weight lost machine that I am not aware of???!! Like "To Lose 100 Pounds in 10 Seconds." Use a bomb and blow yourself up, goodluck.

Seriously. Every person I know, who just came back from National Service looks either bald or bloody thin. This family friend of mine lost 16kgs during his NS stint in Sarawak. I accused him of missing his mommy. He didn't say much. Well why should he?? He looks like a stud. Studs don't talk. They just look at you and make you feel like you haven't lost any weight.

My point is, don't they get fed as much as we do during NS? Fine, for anyone who's curious we have 6 meal times in a day. Yes, 6. For me its like 2 or 3 because 6 is just...over the top. Like any other trainees we complain about the food. The taste, the texture and the fact that there's too much of it in a day. We dubbed PLKN as "Pelatih Lantak Untuk Negara" because all we seem to be doing is stuffing ourselves with food.

Now, what was I ranting about again??!!

Food, lots of it, people losing weight, 6 meals, stud, fuck

Other than weight loss, everyone I know seems to be driving. I was walking aimlessly and saw my 18 year old neighbour driving a Kelisa. She smiled and we chatted for a bit.

Me : Where are you going?
She : Petronas
Me : Oh, I'm going to Petronas too.

We're going to the same place...differently.

She : Loser can't drive.
Me : Show off.

Those in italic were probably what we would've said if either one of us had special mind reading powers.

Am I the only one who's not excited about driving? Whats so cool about it? You're a highway short from a car crash. You're driving on MALAYSIAN road with MALAYSIAN drivers. Drowning yourself would be less painful. Yes, I'm such a pessimist. I look at a glass half filled with water as "There could be ecstacy in it." So, driving is not in my "To give a flying cheese about" list. But mom wants me to go for driving classes. So..can't say no to mom.

Speaking of mom, I remembered the day she went to visit my camp for some sort of family day. She brought literally a bucket of meatball spaghetti and passed it around for my other friends to have a taste. They weren't allowed to just taste, they had to eat a whole plate. I saw one of them trying to wash it down with chocolate milk. She spent quite a while in the toilet that day. Then I told my mom that some of these kids haven't tasted spaghetti in their life and my mom just...laughed.

I know, thats not very nice of her.

Other than that, family members have been pushing me to take up Accountacy stating that we lack accountants in Malaysia. So what? They think I, Sheila, the math nazi with no basics in accounting and has dreams to date a vampire could solve that problem? Accountacy is soooo not my forte. Neither is driving but hell, if they keep pushing I might just take it because I have no idea what I want to do.

Other than that, I was browsing through my documents earlier and stumbled upon this half assed essay of mine. It was written during the inter-class debate last year. We had a pretty playful topic, nothing serious or..important. Despite all the crap I wrote, I think we won that round.

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"Day Is Better Than Night" [goverment]

Firstly, there's a lot of things you can do during the day. You can go fishing at the nearby lake while doing your Add Maths homework using a solar powered calculator. Try doing this at night. Fishing at the nearby lake at 11pm. Are you kidding me? Doing your Add Maths homework in the dark? Seriously? And please,don't get me started on the solar powered calculator. Teenagers aside, what about the kids? What if there's this kid who wants to ride a bike? At the park, and buy a strawberry ice cream from the ice cream man. Do you think his parents would let him out at 10pm? Riding a bike at night is dangerous for kids. Riding a bike at night at the park is even more dangerous. Ice cream man selling ice creams at night is just creepy.

See how simple activities are impossible to do at night. What about the way around? What do people normally do at night? Lets see...they sleep. Can we do this in the day? Lets see...yeah, I think we can. Therefore, its proven that life is well spent when the day is bright and the sun is up.

On to my second point. Have you ever noticed that when you replace the word day to night, it can make a sentence sound very different to what it really means. It makes it sound very..suggestive. For example. A teacher comes up to you and he says "I want you in my office, today." But what if the teacher says " I want you in my office, tonight." Suddenly, you start thinking twice before going to his office. Okay fine, maybe thats a little far fetched. But do you get what I'm trying to say here. People naturally associate negativity when it comes to night. "Don't go out at night." "Don't stay up late at night." We have all this rules that we need to follow, as soon as night comes which is not fun at all.

But what if we change night to day. "Mom I'm going to spend the day at Jon's house." Mom would normally reply "Okay. Come home early." Instead of "Mom, I'm going to spend the NIGHT at Jon's house" and Mom would instantly reply "Don't try to be funny, young lady." See how mom reacted? Without even making sure, she already assumes its going to be something bad. Aside from that, what goes through your mind when I say "One Day Stand." Doesn't it sound like a peaceful demonstration of people's right to..stand? Compared to One Night Stand which has a completely different meaning that I shall not dwell about here. You see, people have this feeling of peace and comfort when something has to be done in the day. But if it was at night, they get paranoid and terrified. An occurence that is unexplainable but enhances the statement of the day being worthier than night.

Lastly, I would like to confess something that has been nagging me for quite some time. It has come to a point where I think majority of the people would agree with me on this one. I put up a poll online just to make sure. 95 percent of the people that voted agreed with me. The other 5 percent were probably 6 year olds. But that aside, let me tell you that after years of thinking this through, I personally think, that "Baywatch wouldn't be half as interesting if it was filmed during the night."

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Seriously, can't believe we won that one.

Labels: 6 meals, driving, food, spaghetti, weight loss