I was having severe stomach cramps yesterday. Its one of those pains where you can't do anything to make it feel better. Its also one of those moments where you wish you were a boy and the only thing you need to worry about is your ding dong acting up.

Whoa...bad pun alert.

So there I was trying my absolute best to ease of the pain when my mom appeared out of nowhere and announced something so...violently unappropriate.

"Sheila, I want you to give me five grandkids atleast."

What the fuck is she high? Please tell me she's high. Either that or her pre menopause tourette is acting up.

My mother wants me to give her FIVE grandkids. She's be lucky if I even decide to give her one. Oh heck, she'd be lucky if I even HAVE someone to reproduce with. My relationship with the opposite gender is not what you call fabulous. For some reason, I scare them. Some girl once told me that guys find me intimidating. I can only pray that intimidating means 'intimate-when-dating' but we all know what intimidating really means.

BOO! See, see all them boys running away.

I think that the only way for me to acually have a freakin boyfriend is when I make the first move. Heh, I can't be bothered to do that now but I think its the only way to give my mom what she wants. Kids might be pushing it a little to far but to just reassure her that I'm not gay despite saying so a couple of times. You might think that with the amount of boy talk I have on here, my mom would atleast have the idea that I'm interested in them. You're so wrong. My mom does not have a clue. She thinks I'm an anti social nerd. See? See how good of an actress I am. But she does always remind me of one thing.

Mom : You may not be interested in boys now but I know when my daughter is in love.
Me : *erupts in laughter* Yeah..right.
Mom : I know Sheila. You can never fool me.

God, the amount of denial she's in.

Me : Fine. Am I in love right now?
Mom : *thinks for 2 seconds* No.

Lucky guess.

Why the sudden interest in boys you might ask. Well, I was surfing through Myspace yesterday, stumbled upon a couple of my friends page and it suddenly hit me. My friends, people who use to play house with me, are dating. Like, for real. I mean, I know all girls ( most of us anyway ) have always dreamt of a boyfriend, someone who we like that like us back. It just hasn't occur to me that its actually happening now. Girls who always complained to me about how boys should be castrated are now in love with them instead.

It sounds stupid but I just realise the fact that I'm not eleven anymore.

I see girls who were so innocent before change and becoming into some kind of bimbo. Girls who use to have short hair now have long ones with pink and green streaks in them. The ones who used to be scared of getting BCG shots now have piercings in every area of skin they own.
Girls who use to take pictures with their best friend holding hands...
Now have their boyfriends with his hand on her ass...

Geez, slow down a bit. Why is everyone growing up so fast? Why can't they wait for me. I know I should just join the bandwagon, but where the fuck is the bandwagon??!!

You might think I'm jealous. Yes, you're right. I am jealous. Jealous of the fact that these girls are high and keep telling the world how great their boyfriend is. How much they love the guy they're with. So sure that he's THE ONE.

But then I realise, they are still innocent. Very innocent. So innocent. They haven't grown up yet. Physically mature, yeah..but mentally? Mentally they are still pretty much who they were before. A kid who wants to be happy. Be free. Have fun. Deal with the consequences when it comes.

So I'm going to skip the bandwagon for now.

On to other news.

Is it just me or does Avril Lavigne sound really boring right now. Her new song is just..oh god, save her. Where was the punk ass Avril most of use to like? Yeah yeah, she's maturing..maturing for the worst I can tell ya that. She makes better songs when she's unattached. Oh well, like they say, people who gets instant popularity usually crumble quite instantly as well.

Hands down, break out artist of the year 2006 has to be ( whether you like it or not ) Paris Hilton. Yep, there's so many bands coming out this year that I have forgotten all of them. They never stood out and all of them sound pretty much the same. So Paris takes the prize for me. Her raunchy but likeable brand of music is so irresistable. Oh shut up. She made a pretty good job of finding people to make good songs for her. So what if she can't sing like Christina Aguilera? Whats the point of having a good voice if your song is crap.

Yes, everytime I hear 'Hurt' by Christina Aguilera..I start to hurt as well and no, that is not a compliment.

Bands you say..hmm, what about them?

Sorry, but 2006 was not a good year for new bands. Maybe 2007 will bring its fair share.

I for once, hope so.