You know something is out to get you when upon finding out that your Astro and telephone died, your keyboard decides to crash too. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? I ended up staring at the google search bar for 10 full minutes trying to type in 'Mikey Way Naked' with my brain.

I was desperate, sue me.

As you can see, my keyboard is fine now. The only thing I'm pissed about at the moment is the fact that I missed the most important broadcast..ever. I feel so deprived and in serious need of 11 times more testosterone than normal. I need to see green grass and baby faced iguanas. The cloud is grey and that prawn sambal sure tasted funny.

I missed the Chelsea vs Manchester United game-lah okay.

And I didn't miss it because I slept or drank too much orange soda. I had iced Milo and my Astro is still in coma. Apparently, the new system in Jabatan Astro is still down.

Motherfuckers.

I know, I know. Its not their fault the system is down but I just need someone to blame and since they work in Astro I shall call them motherfuckers until my sweet Astro is revived again. Hopefully soon, which I doubt.

Since I have a lot of negativity right now, I would like to talk about this little thing called 'Freedom Of Speech'. Many Malaysians, young Malaysians especially feels as though and I quote them :

'Malaysia sucks, no freedom of speech.'
'Malaysia is still a third world country where people aren't allowed to say whatever they want to say.'
'Look at *insert western country here*. People there have a voice, and they're better of than us over here.'
'Bladibladibladibladibladibladibla'

************

As a human, I don't like being controlled. When there's a rule, I'll try to break it. When there's no rule, society is a better place. Rules stop me from expressing my inner creativity, my voice, my passion, my feeling of proudness when after saying something rather degrading to someone, that person stares back at me in horror. I love that feeling of being looked up upon. I want to be that person who no one can talk back too because I am so much better than them. People won't stamp on me because I can get to stamp on them first. Like taking candy from a dead child who I just shot. Like drawing cartoons mocking other religion because I think its funny. Like crashing planes into buildings because it beats the shit out of just talking things through.

Its fun isn't it?

I want it. I want to be powerful. I want to be great. I want to be able to express every damn thing thats in my head. So what if its stupid? So what if other people can't take it? So what if other people are hurt by it? SO WHAT?? Who gives a shit about what other people think anyway. My thoughts are important and its important for people to know its important because the importance of it all is that I feel important and I like feeling important because no other shit is important than ME.

Just wait till I get killed, by someone else who thinks they're better than me.

And he will continue my cycle.
And so will the people after him.
Act exactly like me.
And it'll only end, when god plants a nuclear bomb inside of earth and we'll be shattered to bits.

The way I see it, THAT is how its going to REALLY end for good.

Can't wait for the idiotically presidented world to end.

************

My advice, if you want to help the world, make it less than an eventful place to live...

Go fuck someone outside your race. The result of it, you'll produce a human being who RESPECTS other religions and beliefs, wholly. Why?? Because that baby is made up from two different races. That baby will never feel the need to judge other races. That baby will soon grow to be someone who thinks about other people rather than their own self.

He'll grow up to be someone who's CONSIDERATE. He has first hand experience on how it feels like to deal with two different races because he IS two different races. He's family is made up of two different looking people. Doesn't matter if his dad is purple and his mom is turqoise, they're still his parents. Doesn't matter one cousin is fuchia and the other cousin is magenta, they're still his relatives. Doesn't matter if the world has fucked up looking people, they're STILL humans.

Why can't you people fucking see that??

I've been confused about my race since ever. I hate dwelling on it because it frustrates me. But it has shaped me into someone who's fully appreciative about other people's difference and the fact that I need to think about what I say before I say it.

All this talk about freedom of speech shit, should just end. If you can't say something nice, then don't say it. If you want to degrade someone, keep it to yourself. If you want to voice out something you're not happy about, rather than contribute to the amazing noise pollution that we already have, why don't YOU do something about it.

I'm okay with the fact that the government doesn't allow TOTAL freedom when it comes to sensitive issues. Sensitive issues are called sensitive issues because its FUCKING sensitive. Why is that so hard to understand? Why do we still need to point out that this race teaches dings and that religion teaches dongs.

Why the need to criticize? Are we so much better than other people? Are we the only ones with problems? I mean, I get so fed up when A says something about B and B gets defensive, telling A that if he's not happy he can go back to wherever he's from, oblivious of the fact that B doesn't belong here either.

Its God's land, NONE of us have full custody of it.

Yes, if you DO stop masturbating and watch the news once in a while you'll know what I'm talking about.

Of course there are things that I'm not happy about. Like the 'hak keistimewaan' the Malays get. Its not fair, I know. What about other races? Aren't they 'istimewa' too? Isn't that what we promote to the world. The fact that people here are treated equally no matter the race and religion.

Non Malays will think that I don't understand how they feel. Yes, you're right. I DON'T understand how you feel. I've been brought up as a Malay, my mom wants me to marry a Malay guy, have a Malay wedding, get a Malay kid and live a Malay livestyle because some buttheads associate Malays with Islam which is pathetic.

I'm a Muslim, proud of it.

But I'm not a Malay. I'm also not an Indian. I'm BOTH. Get that through your thick skulls.

I'm not conceited, but I wish every kid ever born is like me or atleast be as considerate as I am. I wish every kid was mixed so that he won't go around promoting how swell his race is.

I have my Malay side of the family, my Indian side of the family and I go to school where 95 percent of the population is Chinese. I KNOW how everyone feels about living in Malaysia.

Indians are basically the forgotten race.
Chinese are the ones who complain a lot.
Malays have the most priviledges, but they're greedy, so they want more.

Yes, I've striked a notch there. Some of you might be pissed of at that. But its the sad truth. My Indian friends have given up on everything seeing as there's no point for them to even prove something since they'll always be the race no ones cares about. My Chinese friends can't wait to graduate and get the hell out of Malaysia because they feel more at home in Singapore. My Malay friends don't really care much because they can easily score a place to study Medicine, and they're not even aware that Malay doctors are getting dumber as we speak.

I feel so... sad. I really do. After 50 years of Independence, we are still fighting for rights. We may not be doing it physically but we're still at each other's throats.

I also feel bad. I feel bad for every race that feels like they're not being treated equally because I know they aren't. But the reality is, we can NEVER be happy.

I feel helpless the most because I can't do anything about it.

Its unfair.

I love all my friends. I don't see any difference when I look at them. Not because I'm short sighted, because I feel like there is NO difference. I feel it. There's a difference between seeing it and feeling it. Physically we vary, but we have the same beating heart inside.

I just don't get why other people can't feel it too.