I wonder why everytime there's a make out scene on tv my mom has to be there to watch it with me. The problem is I was watching Malcolm In The Middle yesterday evening and my mom was sitting around close. I figured, "pftt Malcolm, its a kids movie right."

Wrong.

Lets just say Francis and Piama was in the mood yesterday and so were Malcolm's parents. So there I was all awkward trying to watch the damn thing and at the same time trying to not get caught staring at it.

I would not be ranting about it if this has only happened once. The same goes for all the other movies I watch.

Grey's Anatomy
Still Standing
Malcolm In The Middle
Scrubs
......much much more

Whats more frustrating, when there's no make out scene in the episode that day my mom would probably be in the kitchen or outside talking to the neighbours or something. She's not doing this on purpose I know, but what would she be thinking of me?

"Gee, my daughter is a sex addict."

Or something along those lines.

This is the reason why teenagers don't like doing things in front of their parents because it would just come out and look wrong. Here I am trying to prove to my mom that I'm not hiding anything from her and those hours spent on the computer is not for looking at unnecassary skin but what happens?? She thinks my hormones are all over the place and thats why I watch movies with a lot of make out scenes in them.

How can I tell her that I'm watching this movies for the only purpose of entertainment and not to ease my sexual tension. If there is any.

Lets just clear up a few things. No, my mom is not accusing me of being to "curious". Truthfully, she's never really said a word about it. Thats why its driving me crazy.

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Ok fine, I am paranoid.

So this whole rant was just about me being paranoid.

Skipping along now.

The other day, my cousin Sal called asking me if we should get together for a girls morning out like we did last year. At first I thought of saying "no, I'd like to stay at home and study." Sheesh, since when am I good liar? So I said okay, call me back when she's free.

Weird isn't it? I feel like I've been in prison this couple of days and I so want to go out somewhere. But when I'm given a chance to go out I feel like I'd rather stay at home even though I really want to go out.

Maybe my hormones ARE all over the place.

So its Sunday evening and I'm still in front of the computer doing nothing. The thing is, my parents and brother decided to go out shopping for some thing(s) and later go to some friends birthday party.

Yea I know, my bloody parents have a better social life than I do.

I didn't want to go so here I am home alone. I've been in the house alone since 12:00am this morning. To tell you the truth, I've never felt spoiled in my entire life. I switched on my computer, grab a bowl of my dad's chocolate cake and a huge glass of Strawberry soda and watched the entire third season of The OC.

Yeah, The OC, shut up.

The point is, I've been sitting here for the past four hours doing nothing apart from almost crying when Johnny died. Thinking about it now, I feel like I've just found a way to ease off my depression. Not that I'm depressed or anything but in a way this past few weeks have been rough and now that I've spent four hours doing nothing I may have just feel a little bit better. Last week I prayed for a break from the whole school thing and now I feel like I've already rested in a way and actually feel a lot better.

Well not exactly, the combination of chocolate cake and strawberry soda is making me want to throw up and I also feel like a headache coming on. But thats all good.

So anyway, the reason I moved here is because a classmate of mine, Michelle found out about my blog. Xanga decided to improve its weblog by introducing this new footprint feature for people to track down visitors that visit their blog. Cool eh?

Not.

I mean imagine what she could do. She could print out my entries and post it in our class billboard. Or she could make copies of it and pass it around to everyone in my class as a must read school article. I can't imagine the humiliation when they find out about stuff I write in there. Its just, well lets just say the things I write are worse than porn. Which is bad. So bad that it could actually make people think that I'm a part time stripper or something.

Sheesh, blame me for having a wide range of thinking capacity.

Lets just not think about that right now. Its hurting my head. Anyway, I met up with a few friends yesterday. My neighbour/ex schoolmate had a birthday party and she actually phoned me three times to make sure I'd come. Which looks a tad bit desperate and needy but what the hell, she wants me there so thats great.

Her cake looked nice. It was covered in white icing and had smarties all over it. Its homemade so yeah, no comment.

And she's 16 by the way.

Oh crap, I just remembered I have an early tuition tomorrow. I have to wake up at 7:00am maybe earlier. Oh well, I still have like 13 days to go until school starts.

I decided to skip school today just because they're celebrating teacher's day. I don't feel like going even though school ends one hour early and we won't be studying the whole day. I've had enough of school for now. I seriously need this two weeks of holidays to get myself prepared for the second term.

I need to study basically.

Anyway, all that remorse and depression I've been having this past week have fade away. I feel at peace with myself. What is done is done. I don't need to fret and throw daggers aimlessly anymore. Its no point really.Pfft yeah..only now I realised that.

So, I completed my second oral two days ago. It wasn't at all hard anymore. I just stood there and said what had to be said. I talked about my ex History teacher Miss Low who taught me History when I was in Form 1.

Atleast, I can still talk from all the embarrassment I had this past few weeks.

Other than that, after the holidays we would be floating. Yeah..I know, that sounds weird. We're gonna start floating classes because the Form 6 are coming in so we have to make way for them. So goodbye to my class. I was sort of moved when they started taking down the duty rosters and such because I could not believe that I have spent almost five months in this class. It was the first class that I entered and now leaving it is kinda sad.

Whats even more depressing is, our lovable class teacher Mrs W is not going to be teaching us History anymore and at the same time she has been assigned to be the class teacher for a different class. We were flabbergasted when we first heard it from her yesterday. I mean come on, she's the coolest teacher around and now she has to go. Why can't they assign Mr Z to teach a different class?? Why does he have to continue teaching us until the end of next year?

Its not fair I tell ya.